[STEVE HINDALONG] by Kevin Clay

Steve Hindalong is Skinny. That is more than just a description. He's not just thin. It's been a nickname he's been sidled with since childhood when he would wear long-sleeve shirts in summer "to hide my skinny wrists," he says. "And I would not wear shorts to hide my skinny legs. Mike Knott did a song 'Skinny Skins' which I thought was funny. I was flattered by it, though he got a bunch of things wrong. First of all, that was a vodka year for me (laughs). And he owed Derri money, not me. And I didn't smoke then, either."

"Then" was the mid-80's when Hindalong was at the forefront of a cadre of artists in sunny Southern California re-inventing Christian rock. As the drummer and lyricist for the Choir, Hindalong helped pave the way for musicians who, as believers, did not see themselves as ministers, but still wanted to make music that reflected their faith and stood on its own as a work of art.

Now, however, with the Choir on an indefinite hiatus -- though not broken up -- after the band's 1996 "To Bid Farewell" tour and nearly a decade of producing up and coming talent -- including such acts as the Waiting, Honey, hoi Polloi, Morella's Forest, the Prayer Chain and My Little Dog China -- Skinny is taking a new position in the spotlight as an uneasy solo artist.

The germ of this record was a long time in growing. It was first planted years ago by his good friend and roots rock icon Mark Heard who offered to put out a a solo record for Hindalong on his own DIY Fingerprint label. Steve regrets not doing the record then, but it did set him writing, for the first time, songs that had no audience, that were "written in the privacy of my own home to express what I was feeling. They were written out of emotion, overly sentimental, not as sophisticated, with more risks, more vulnerability, more intimacy - with no intention of putting out a solo record.

"With Choir songs, I was reacting lyrically and melodically to Derri. Though I enjoy taking risks in music, lyrics, and the production, I knew those songs were for entertainment and would be heard by our audience."

This record, he said, was more about coming to terms with who he is as a person, with little worry about who will listen in on the process.

"It's like my finger on the sore," he said, "part of accepting myself. The record is about frailty, vulnerability and forgiveness, which is important for all of us to come to terms with because we are all broken and fragile. It's about extending grace to one another. I've offended some people to such an extent that there's nothing I could do or say to repair the offense. And, yet, I've been forgiven by them. So, I've come to understand that mercy is Divine. I think that's the message I'm trying to communicate. All of us are holding grudges against one another that we need to communicate, extend one another mercy and go on. Like in Color Wheel,' look at things in a more positive light. As a Christian, we are told to look at the world through the eyes of Christ and the eyes of mercy. "Forgive your care-takers.' Cut people slack."

Skinny said that the competition, the drive to get ahead and be recognized for your work drives many artists to push wedges between themselves and their co-workers and their audience, that even he has occasionally lost sight of what's really important about making music.

"In my 20's, I didn't care if I lost friends, burned everybody. Everybody does that in the quest to be successful in music. Most of us artists are insecure. That's why we're doing it: the need for affirmation, for competition.

"A record, 45 minutes of music, is not worth hurting a friendship. I'm a person that takes it very seriously in the studio, so I'm preaching to myself too. But I wish I would have lightened up just a little bit. If I could go back, I would've had a better time. Music is real wonderful and it does touch people and it is powerful. But it's not all about me. And it's not all about you. It's about the truth we're shedding light on.

"A dozen songs are just not that important in the scheme of things. They're just songs. Record them. God doesn't need our songs. He's the Creator of music, the Giver of melody and harmony and rhythm. It's wonderful that we get to do this. And I think He's glorified when we create music and give it back. But it's really not that important."

What is important, he says, is the people: the musicians and fans his work has brought him in to contact with.

"It's about individuals. It's about connecting your music with individual people. If I could go back, I would return mail and respond because it's gone now. I was into letters, but it got to be too much and I forgot about it. You stop seeing the faces and forget it's a great opportunity to have a relationship with strangers. It's really valuable and it's not going to last forever. And not everybody gets that opportunity. So I would say to any band, whether you get a record deal or whatever, just consider it a

privilege that you're playing and sharing your music - at whatever the level - and that individuals are responding. Relish that and communicate with these people. Give yourself up and pour your life out. "Drop the feather in the rive," take the risk, pour your self out."

In the spirit of encouraging those relationships, Skinny is filled with guest appearances by musicians and acquaintances Hindalong has worked with over the years: performers like Marc Byrd of Common Children, Tim Chandler of Daniel Amos and the Choir, Driver 8's Matt McCartie, Jason Martin of Starflyer 59, Troy Daugherty from hoi Polloi, Matt Slocum from Sixpence, Mike Knott, Gene Eugene, Terry Taylor, etc. Steve, who for the last decade has been as famous as a producer as well as performer, opted not to turn the keys to this project.

"I had Wayne Everett (of the Prayer Chain/Starflyer 59) produce," he said, "because I'm close to him. I respect him. And I like his company and spirit. I had him do to me what I do to people I produce: keep people confident. Everybody is insecure. I have done some pretty elaborate, ambitious, epic records. I'm a perfectionist and I knew that wasn't the way to go. I wanted it to go through the door. I used Chris Colbert (Breakfast With Amy, Fluffy, Duraluxe) as the engineer because he's a risk taker. He realizes that music is entertainment, so he makes it entertaining. He likes to mess it up and these were folky tunes that needed to be messed up a little bit. There needed to be some tension."

Tension is a word that comes up often when Steve talks about his work. Be it the rub between the ideal and the real that is the subject of many of his songs or the pull between the demands of his professional life and desire to spend more time with this family, that stress is one of the defining factors of Hindalong's music. But it's better, he suggests, to face that pressure and not compromise his artistic values.

"I'm really lucky to still be doing music after all this time," he said. "I never thought I would after going to college and majoring in literature. I thought I would be a teacher."

In many ways, however, he is a teacher to the dozens of bands he's mentored and produced records for in the past, and the thousands he's influenced through his own recorded work to take chances and be honest in their own music. He says working with up and coming talent has helped to keep him vital in his own work as well.

"That's one thing about doing rock 'n' roll: rock keeps you young. It's hard not to reminisce too much. I don't feel very old. I feel like one of the guys when I's producing a young band. It makes my wife mad. She says to me, "You're Middle Aged!'

"After the Youth Choir, it just kept going, the perpetuation of adolescence. Your 20's are over, then your 30's, and you haven't learned how to do anything else. You're not going to be a rock star, you know that. You're not going to make a living playing in a band forever. So if you can turn it into something else - songwriting, producing - and still be involved in music, the creative process, it's a real privilege.

"I like to be on the creative side," he continues. "I may end up on the other side, the business side. But I want to put it off as long as possible. I love helping bands. It's been an honor being in the studio with some really talented people, being the facilitator for their vision and, hopefully, an inspiration to do something they're really proud of.

"I consider myself kind of a conscience, you know? I tend to get between the band and the record label. To try to encourage the band to see that their music is between them and their audience, to be as creative as possible, not the most commercial. I'm not the most commercially-minded producer. I'm more music and creative minded. I haven't done anything that's been considered successful by industry standards yet. (Laughs)"

In fact, he said it was difficult to find a record company to put out his solo record. Tattoo Records, the label the Choir is signed to, passed and another number of supposedly hip, youth- oriented, alternative labels passed on Skinny until finally Cadence Communications decided to take a chance on it.

"This record is definitely left-of-center," Steve said. "I'm grateful to Cadence for putting it out. The ccm industry isn't known to take risks - it's a very formulated industry. They won't tolerate anything that can't be put in a category.

"It's a great privilege to get to share your songs. I took that for granted with the Choir. There was always the pressure to get it done. When it's all over, it doesn't matter how small the audience is, you got to share your songs. I've been real fortunate to do that."

And he will keep writing and recording songs so long as people will listen. But after 15 years in the music industry, Steve is starting to think a little of how he will be remembered in the future. Not so much as an exercise in nostalgia, but through a realization of what he does today will reflect on tomorrow and the legacy he wants to follow him in the Christian music scene.

"I would like to be remembered for my poetry, my lyrics," he said, "and as an inspiration to other in the creative process. (Pause) I hope a few people remember me as a good friend. I haven't always been a good friend to too many people. But I hope that in the end... I'm still changing a lot. I still growing, and I expect a lot of change in the future.

"I think that people who don't know me think I'm more virtuous than I am because my music is idealistic. I think I'm pretty corrupt. I think people would be surprised.

"A lot of people who know me think I'm a workaholic. I don't think that's true. It's been hard to survive and take care of my family. Also, people think that making music isn't really work. That I love doing it and I just don't want to go home because I'm having too good of a time. I think if I had any success at all people would be surprised to find out that I'd rather go out on a row boat and fish, that I really want to have a good time and wouldn't work the brutal hours if I didn't have to; if I wasn't trying to take $10,000 and make a $100,000 record."

"I wish I could be more joyful around my family. I have a hard time expressing joy. I'm pretty scowerly and tense. I'm not a really good children person and wish that I could be a little more happy-go-lucky. My wife and I, we're both pretty intense. I wish we could create a little more laughter because I want my family to be happy. My children already reflect my own seriousness and perfectionism and discontent a little. I wish I could change that, that I could turn that around. It's just all from financial struggle, that struggle for basic security takes the joy out of life. It shouldn't be that way if we trust in the Lord. It's a decision that has to do with your faith, I think."

1998 RIM www.ricochetmusic.com

Kevin Clay is a musician and songwriter from St. Louis, Missouri. His first record, My Little Dog China's the Velvis Carnival was produced by Steve Hindalong in 1993. Kevin is currently shopping a new solo deal as well as developing emerging artists in Nashville, Tennessee.